LADY JANELady Jane died seven years ago today. She was my mother and I miss her.
My mother was the epitome of grace and elegance. Hence the nickname Lady Jane. She was the kind of woman who turned heads when she entered a room. In her nearly eighty-nine years I don’t believe I ever heard her use a curse word except in private as a joke.
When Lady Jane found out she was pregnant with her last child she announced to the world "This is my last baby and I am going to spoil it to death." As luck would have it, that child was me. I was spoiled pretty good as I recall.
I don't know exactly what it is but there seems to be an extra special bond between a mother and her youngest. I didn't really become aware of our bond until I was a young woman. It was whilst on safari in Kenya East Africa that we forged a relationship that was more than mother daughter. It was that and much more. We truly became life long friends. Although it was sometimes tough for her there was nothing that I could not tell her.
The thing I regret the most is that I was always so full of myself and did all the talking. My mother had an appetite for listening to my tales that knew no end. I think she lived a little vicariously through me. At the time that was wonderful but now I wish I had spent more time asking her about her. There is so much I will never know because I never thought to ask.
In the end my mother had Alzheimer's. I took care of her for nearly seven years. Through it all she remained the epitome of elegance and grace. People have a tendency to underestimate persons with dementia and it used to really make me angry. They would talk in front of mother as though she weren't even there. But, she was there.
There are so many wonderful memories I hold in my heart. But, the memory that will grip my heart until the day that I die is of her, hardly able to remember or do anything, shuffling up to me, taking my face in her hands, looking up into my eyes with more love than can be imagined and saying, "You are my baby."
I miss you Mama and I'm still your baby!
©Kinsey Barnard
