Sunday, March 30, 2008
Clouds. I love clouds. I can just sit and watch them float and morph for long periods of time. They are so beautiful and alive. I may be prejudiced but I believe the most beautiful clouds on the planet are to be found in Montana.
The photograph here is a reflection of clouds on a lake. I love the colors. And, believe it or not, the colors in the picture are unedited, right from the camera. It's hard to see but there is a little duck swimming in the tree tops at the bottom. These are Oregon clouds reflecting on Cleawox Lake.
My mother used to tell me “every cloud has a silver lining”. When I was younger I thought every cloud was a cloud, a bummer and a mean, personal attack on moi. I thought my mother was silly to say such a thing.
Now that I’m older I have seen the wisdom. Life has a way of beating up on all of us every now and again. There is nothing personal about it. We all get our turn in the barrel, as the saying goes. Maybe these times are just a way for the universe to get our attention?
What I do know is my mother was absolutely right! Every cloud does have a silver lining. But, you have to look for it because it isn’t always apparent and sometimes it takes awhile to find. Reflecting on past disappointments I can see the linings more clearly now. I can see that things I had been so disappointed about at the time had actually happened for the best. I can see some good in even tragic events.
These days I always look for the silver lining. I’m a much happier person for it. And yes, sometimes, I have a little bit of a hard time finding it. Often, when that happens, I go sit and watch clouds. Clouds are like live theater. There can be so many interesting characters parading across that celestial stage. I can lose myself in the production. What one sees is only limited by one’s own imagination. Many times that lining still eludes me but I feel so much more at peace and refreshed for having spent that time with clouds.
Monday, March 3, 2008
I have never married, never had children and, according to society’s rules, lived an empty life. Yet, nothing could be further from the truth.
I never had children because I never married. I never married because I never found the right partner. It really was as simple as that. I would have married in a heartbeat if I had found the right man. And, believe me, I gave it the old college try!
In my day the term “Old Maid” was still quite popular. Look around you. See very many failed marriages? I honestly believe a lot of that has to do with societal conditioning and pressure. Many enter marriages simply to meet society’s expectations and avoid being seen as “damaged goods”, hopefully, not so much anymore.
That line of thinking was useful when we had a country to populate and a work force to develop. But, we’ve got all the people we can handle on this planet. Women are not dependent on men for their very survival any longer. The playing field has changed. For the better I think.
In truth I have lived a fascinating life, one that probably could not have been lived in a married state. I have loved and lost. I have had a very successful corporate career and I am now living my dream with photography as a second career.
Do I ever get lonely? Not really. Do I ever wish I had someone with whom to share the splendors that I see? Absolutely. But, I have always felt that if it were meant to be, it would. I may be crazy but I believe that this is exactly how my life was destined to be. And, I am living it without regrets. I actually, find I am far more content and at peace than many of my married counterparts. One of people’s favorite warnings is “Oh, but you’ll die alone.” Well, I have a news flash. We all die alone. No matter how many people are in the room.
Life truly is what you make it and what you make it really is up to you. Despite what people may tell you, most of them discontent themselves, there is no right way to make this journey. There is just your way. For me the best way has been just to let life take me where it wanted and for some reason it wanted me solo. And, ever since I gave up fighting it, it’s been a wonderful life.
©Kinsey Barnard Photography